Dear Abby: My ‘interfering’ mother-in-law has two insurance policies for me

Dear ABBY: I recently discovered that my mother-in-law has two life insurance policies on me, neither of which I knew about, and one of which is close to 20 years old. I have never asked nor authorized him to make these policies and I am very worried.

We don’t have a good relationship. She is not welcome in my life or our home because she is disrespectful and intrusive. My husband has very little to do with her, but seems unfazed by the fact that she took it upon herself to take on these policies. Because she sells insurance, she makes it seem like it’s no big deal, but it is to me.

I have my own insurance and have for my entire adult life (approaching 50), and I am horrified at the idea of ​​her collecting a payout on my death. She never gave us a copy of the policies and we don’t even know who the beneficiaries are. In fact, we only know of their existence because she let it slip in a conversation when we told her that because she is so rude and disrespectful, we are limiting our contact with her.

Am I crazy, or are my concerns justified? Is it legal for her to have these? Why am I betting that I die before her? — LIFE INSURED IN NEVADA

DEAR LIFE INSURED: You have my sympathy. Your mother-in-law seems to be a handful. Discuss this with your insurance agent. Explain what you learned and ask if what your mother-in-law did is legal, because it might not be. The fact that she is in the insurance business makes it even worse. The fact that you learned this information during an “unpleasant” conversation strikes me as possible retaliation for telling her something she didn’t want to hear. She might even lie about it.

Your insurance agent can explain what remedies can be taken to correct this if it is true. If she is a licensed broker who has done something illegal, she can lose her license.

Dear ABBY: I have been separated from my daughter, “Boni”, for 30 years. Her mother and I divorced and remarried. Bonnie was in her late teens and early 20s at the time. For a while, she lived with me, my new wife and my wife’s daughter. Bonnie was an absolute “queen” and thought we should defer to her every whim. She didn’t offer help around the house and didn’t pay rent.

I finally asked him to leave. It was either get him out of the house or lose my new wife. Later, Bonnie got married and asked me to come to her wedding, but not to bring my wife. I said, “Sorry, I won’t be there.” She was mad at me for it and still is, according to her brother.

I have deleted him but have been encouraged by a friend to try to reconnect with him. I think Bonnie has a grudge and it would be futile to try for reconciliation and open myself up to more pain from being around her. I think she’s stuck on what happened 30 years ago and won’t let go. Your opinion, please? – DESPERATE DAD IN OREGON

DEAR FATHER: Has this friend or Bonnie’s brother given you any impression that Bonnie would want to reconcile with you and your wife? If the answer is yes, try it. If not, let sleeping dogs lie.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.